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lyrics

i wish i lived in harmony
but i’ve never found peace in reeds
no i’m better suited
somewhat uprooted
it’s hard to put my mind at ease
my easy-going took its leave
and all my twenties
i've felt so empty
i’ve known it since katrina died
it's something i don’t try to hide
i’m not the same
i've been ashamed
since not returning her last call
so i let drinking take a hold
and since that day
i’ve been this way
or maybe this preceded all
i try to blame on alcohol
something abhorrent
in me lies dormant
and when i’m struggling its calm
but settled it raises alarm
until i send
away my friends
yes all the ones i used to know
slipped through my fingers long ago
i burned those bridges
or blanked messages
which suggests i am capable
of making out i’m in control
but i lock myself
inside the house
because i’m scared i'd have to choose
between this wallowing and you
and without sorrow
i’d be so hollow
that is without this misery
i think i’d simply cease to be
it lives within me
constitutively
i’ve traced it to my very core
though through the bottle i ignore
that ugly truth
which shaped my youth
because i know that i can’t be
cured of this wretchedness easily
but a clean slate
might help me escape
from being buried here at home
this town makes me feel so alone
and it keeps me static
leads to bad habits
and though i hate opening doors
all the old ones look just like yours
that’s why the reeds
don’t comfort me

credits

from Pop​-​up Songs, released February 14, 2018

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feat. Tiger Brighton, UK

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